I was reading a blog a friend had shared on FB and it inspired me... Hannah Mayer's version at http://www.scarymommy.com/requests-for-my-husband-should-i-die-first/ was amazing but much of it didn't apply. I was moved to create my own.
I know it isn't something anyone loves to think about, but it has certainly crossed my mind. Before I begin, I want to get one thing straight... I am aware I am damned lucky. I am fully aware that if I departed, Scott would without question be able to handle our family on his own, he does it from 6:00 am until he leaves for work at 3:00 pm. Everyone who knows us, knows that he is not an average Dad, he is an AMAZING Dad! That being said, there are some things that are Mom-essential and those things scare the crap out of me. On top of the things that require me in this family, there are those "other" requests I've given thought to.
1. Brushing their teeth is not an option, it is necessary, twice a day, along with semi-annual visits to the dentist.
2. Please make sure their outfits match on some level and that they are presentably clean in public. We don't want to have the smelly kid in life. Matching is more important when it comes to our daughter. I know you are new to girl clothes but tights go under the diaper cover and bows are cute.
3. While I know in my heart this wouldn't be an issue, please be sure to remain a part of my family. For the kid's sake and for yours. They will be a great life line when you are adjusting to raising four kids on your own. Also, if my Mom is still here, lean on her, she will lean on you and the kids. Lord knows she will need some laughter and love.
4. Plan trips, take vacations, spend tons of time with the kids. Make memories, you will now be making them for both of us.
5. Give them birthday parties, it is important for them to feel special. Let them help, they love parties :) Also, on their birthday night, instead of reading a story, tell them their story. The story of when they came in to this world. They love hearing it and their questions are so amazing.
6. Raise each kid individually, nothing works for all of them, they are all so very different. Cater to their individuality and learn to love their unique traits.
7. Raise our sons to be like you, teach them to treat women the way you did when we first dated (lol.) Teach them to stand up for themselves, but teach them to be kind and gentle. Raise our daughter to be independent, strong and lady like. I know that last part is tough to grasp but she needs to be more than the tom-boy, she needs depth in personality.
8. Make them all go to college, it is important and it is so hard to do after the fact. Let them choose their own career path, but don't let college be optional. I don't care if they want to be a janitor, send them to janitor school.
9. Don't let them forget me, don't let my name go unspoken. Tell them my stories and let them tell you stories about me. Answer all their questions, tell them about the good and even my mistakes. Let them really know me.
10. Move on. I mean it, don't be stuck in the mud for too long. It won't be good for you or the kids. When you are ready, date. Don't grow old alone. I'm not saying you should introduce every broad to the kids, but when you find one that you think I would approve and that you love. Let the kids love her too. If I know you and clearly I do, I know that you won't move on without it being an amazing lady. Make sure she cherishes you and that she is a good person. You know I will be judging from up above ;)
Formalities, you can find in our will, but I expect a celebration of life, not a sad day of tears. Celebrate the memories.
Love me. <3 p="">
